We were in the travel agents. I wanted to go to Malta. I'd been reading about it. The history was fascinating. It looked slightly off the usual track, and I fancied that it might well be a good place to spend the winter, and I wanted to check out the property scene as well.

Four weeks for seven hundred pounds didn't seem too bad a price until the girl behind the desk suddenly pointed out a deal in the Algarve: four weeks for £360. I struggled to remember where the Algarve actually was.

"Turn right at Malta," said a voice behind me.

"Wait a minute. It’s cold in Portugal in the winter, isn't it? It’s on the Atlantic. There’s all that cold wind blowing down from Greenland."

"It's as warm as Southern Spain," said the voice beind me.

Really? And four weeks for only £360. "I'll take it."